One Guy’s True Story

SHEDDING MY FAKE RELIGION

This testimony is from Thorne, a member of Street Level Ministries Twin Ports (Duluth, Minnesota and Superior, Wisconsin).

My parents divorced when I was five, and my father gave up custody of me and my siblings for drugs and jail sentences instead. While he was absent, my mother helped me learn more about God and invited me into adult Bible studies as I grew up. By the time I was eight years old, my dad had begun to establish a home where I could visit him on the weekends. Shortly after, I asked God into my heart, frequently thanking my heavenly Father for a chance to have my dad back.

Childlike faith is a trait God commands, but my focus on faith was tested heavily as I approached my teens. The comfort I had once experienced from God dwindled once my family broke apart again. My father chose a life of addiction, and I decided that I wasn’t ready to give him up. Forsaking God at thirteen, I smoked and drank whatever would get me closer to my dad. I found momentary worth from his acceptance and dismissed my guilt by further altering my state of mind.

In a depressed, broken state, I twisted my beliefs into a self-serving spirituality that fit the life I was living. I just smiled and nodded my way through the sermons I attended. Any conviction that the Holy Spirit blessed me with was undoubtedly ignored, hardening my heart.

I believe my holy “Christian” persona fooled those around me for a long time, leaving a wake of destruction in those who were spiritually unsteady. Pastors and leaders seemingly allowed me to skate by with my religious knowledge and well-placed convictions. I knew all the right words to say until God began to show me how real faith actually changes a person.

My best friend, having never been truly convinced by my unsightly display of religion, called out to God in the midst of a much worse time than what I had ever personally experienced. She trusted God to move her across the United States to bless her with a loving Christian community. Her health improved, and her personality changed dramatically. As I saw God heal her, my proud, religious heart began to soften. He helped me take responsibility for my actions and let go of the blame I placed on others.

As I saw God heal her, my proud, religious heart began to soften. He helped me take responsibility for my actions and let go of the blame I placed on others.

Today I have given up drug use and much of the importance I placed on the attention of others. God is still working on my heart, destroying my pride, and refueling my desire to know Him intimately. I trust in Jesus Christ’s saving grace, knowing that religious knowledge does nothing to save me or those in my life.

I still fail daily by sometimes misplacing faith in patriotism, seeking fulfillment through work accomplishments, or letting my thoughts wander outside the realm of “things above.” But when I bring my failures to God instead of burying them, I permit Him to direct my life and my desires. He is making me reliant upon Him as I serve Him in my church, my friendships, and soon in my marriage.

– Thorne