Diagnosing Discontentment
HOW TO FIGHT A DISEASE THAT AFFECTS US ALL
D rip…drip…drip…splat!
The sticky, dark brown liquid melted down the cone, over tiny knuckles, and created a small puddle on the kitchen floor below.
“Emily, why aren’t you eating your ice cream cone? You love ice cream.”
“Mom, I want strawberry, not chocolate.” Emily’s round cheeks and full smile fell into an unmistakable pout.
“But when I told you all we had was chocolate you agreed. It’s important to be thankful for what you have.” Luckily, at that moment, Emily’s dad came through the kitchen, so the ice cream cone didn’t go to waste after all.
Regardless of our age, gender, ethnicity, or socioeconomic status, we are all like Emily. However, instead of being discontent about ice cream, our attention focuses on our job, education, family, relationships, income, abilities, personality, looks, and more. And, being dissatisfied in these categories goes much, much deeper than the kitchen floor. Our identities and our very souls are affected.
Discontentment may seem normal because everyone experiences it, but just because it is common doesn’t mean it’s benign. We must see the disease for what it is, run to the One who has the cure, and guard our hearts against future infection.
PROGNOSIS OF THE HEART
We weren’t always discontent. In the first two chapters of the Bible, Adam and Eve enjoyed a perfect, unadulterated relationship with God in their home, the Garden of Eden. Perfect contentment existed in them and between them. Then Satan, in the form of a serpent, deceived them into believing lies about themselves and how they related to God. From that point forward, sin entered the world, Adam and Eve were banned from the Garden, and every human has been infected with discontentment.
The Bible records many historical examples of discontentment: King David’s adultery with Bathsheba, King Solomon writing the entire book of Ecclesiastes, and Judas’ betrayal of Jesus to name a few. Today, we are more familiar with—and we participate in—things like comparing ourselves to others through social media, living vicariously through entertainment (movies, music, and books), consistently hopping from relationship to relationship, and wishing we had done more or done better by now.
The disease of discontentment is a matter of the heart, not circumstances. We all feel that a different spouse, a different job, a different city to live in, you name it, will make our lives better, but we all know this is not true. Furthermore, being discontent is dangerous because it is a root problem that manifests in many other symptoms: ingratitude, arrogance, lust, greed, entitlement, idolatry, and self-protection.1 Effects likes these are hard to keep to ourselves. They spread to others, destroying our relationships, and they pull us further and further away from God.
THE GREAT PHYSICIAN
Like a loving father who watches over his children, God knew from the very beginning, in Genesis, that we needed to be rescued from our desperate condition because we couldn’t be content without Him. Therefore, the entire Bible is about His incredible plan to come to us, through Jesus, to restore the relationship that was broken. During Jesus’ ministry on earth, He described the kind of people He came to save: “Those who are well have no need of a physician, but those who are sick. I did not come to call the righteous, but sinners, to repentance” (Mark 2:17, NKJV). Therefore, if we see our discontentment for what it is, sin, we are the perfect candidate to receive His loving kindness and mercy. If we confess our sin and draw near to Him, we can receive the abundant life that only He provides.2
When our hearts rage for things we crave but can’t have, look to God.
Jesus is relatable because He is not beyond discontentment Himself. Before He was to be hung on the cross, He prayed to His Father, “O my Father, if it is possible, let this cup pass from me; nevertheless, not as I will, but as You will” (Matthew 26:39, NKJV). He is our example because though He wished for His circumstances to be different, it did not lead Him to sin but to obedience. He felt what he felt, to the point of sweating drops of blood, yet He pursued His Father’s will anyway. So, too, can we follow God in obedience despite the discontentment that attempts to destroy us.
Thankfully, we don’t have to give in to our condition as if there were no other option. Because of Jesus, we have hope that contentment not only exists, but it is also attainable. Puritan preacher Jeremiah Burroughs puts it like this: “Christian contentment is that sweet, inward, quiet, gracious frame of spirit which freely submits to and delight’s in God’s wise and fatherly disposal in every condition.”3 Does that not sound better than the discontentment we’re used to? Jesus was born, crucified, and resurrected so we may live this kind of life.
DON’T LET IT FESTER
Although Jesus fulfilled His part to save us from discontentment (before we could even ask), there are steps we must take to war against the daily infestation that tries to reopen old wounds. For example, realize that this is a war that requires effort. Satan wants to discourage us, using any method he can to get us to give up on God. Don’t. When our hearts rage for things we crave but can’t have, look to God. Remember all that He has done and is going to do in the future. Keep an eternal perspective.4
Also, everyone feels discontent about different areas of life so pay attention to what triggers your heart to be unsatisfied. Are certain friends and relatives a bad influence? Do certain apps like Pinterest or Instagram produce fantasies of a perfect life? Does following the lavish lifestyle of certain celebrities create an inappropriate longing for wealth? Once these areas are known, run! Even if it means unfollowing accounts, unfriending certain people, or learning to undo habits, be on the offense in the war against discontentment.
Finally, imitate the Apostle Paul. He wrote from a jail cell, “Not that I speak in regard to need, for I have learned in whatever state I am to be content” (Philippians 4:11, NKJV). Being content does not happen overnight. It is learned through a multitude of experiences over the course of life. In other words, don’t give up if you see discontentment return. Keep returning to Christ, learn from mistakes, and thank Him for another chance to build character.
In the end, we all battle discontentment and that should bring us together. If we happen to be in a season of peace, we can help someone who isn’t. Remember: discontentment is not benign. If left untreated, the smallest of issues can manifest into major consequences. Even if it’s just about chocolate ice cream.
1tvcresources.net/resource-library/sermons/learning-contentment, 2John 10:10, 3Burroughs, J. The Rare Jewel of Christian Contentment. Chapel Library, 4Colossians 3:2, NKJV.