From Girl to Boy to Woman
CHLOE COLE SPOKE AT UW-SUPERIOR ABOUT DETRANSITIONING
Puberty is not supposed to be easy,” said Chloe Cole, a 19-year-old activist, before a crowd of college students, community members, and concerned parents at UW-Superior’s Yellowjacket Union. She described her childhood years as self-conscious, lonely, and awkward. “Everything I was going through was par for the course.” She further explained that, although she experienced tumultuous emotions and social discomfort during puberty, these are the typical ebbs and flows that any adolescent girl goes through during this time of life.
However, Cole’s reason for being at UW-Superior was to share the part of her story that wasn’t your average coming-of-age tale. Her mission is to bring to light the harmful effects of gender transitioning for children under 18, and her perspective on gender identity has the potential to draw a mixed crowd. Upon entering the ballroom, attendees were required to have their bags checked and be wanded by local police before entering for security measures.
“Life,” Cole went on to say, “didn’t match my peers during puberty.” She felt more comfortable around boys, was afraid of facing her femininity, and was bullied about her looks. Cole found a transgender community online, and she found others who she could relate to. After spending time in this community, “I emotionally gravitated towards the idea of being a transgender boy,” Cole said.
I was able to recover. I was able to heal.” In her final words to the audience, she boldly proclaimed, “There is no such thing as being born in the wrong body. “
– Chloe cole, 19
Today, Cole travels the country bravely sharing the personal physical, mental, and emotional harm gender-transitioning did to her and is doing to others. She described drugs that she was prescribed as a 13-year-old that put her hormones into a menopause-like state. She also received a double mastectomy at only 15 years old. At the time, she thought she wanted a different identity, but what she really craved was for adults to be adults, to teach her how to grow up, and to reassure her that the experience she was going through during puberty was a normal part of life. Instead, the doctors and psychologists she met with influenced her parents to pursue gender transitioning for fear Cole would commit suicide. Cole wasn’t suicidal—she was just a kid developing into an adult, which is a weird transition for everyone.
Despite changing her gender and living as a boy for a few years, a new persona didn’t solve her problems. “No matter how much I tried to change my body, I couldn’t change being a woman,” said Cole. Towards the end of high school, she chose to detransition back to a woman. She shared that she felt the desire to one day become a mother and have a family of her own, and transitioning had robbed her of the opportunity to blossom into a woman naturally. During her initial detransition, Cole experienced another round of vicious bullying, including fierce rejection from those whom she once called friends in the transgender community. A few years have passed since her detransition, and she is still experiencing lasting physical effects, such as nerve pain.
The end of Cole’s talk provided an opportunity for questions from the audience. One attendee asked, “How do you stay positive despite receiving negative feedback for detransitioning?” Cole responded that her friends and family keep her going. In fact, she’s met many people like herself who have formed a community of detransitioners. When asked what adults could have done to help her, she explained how she felt isolated and would have benefited from closer involvement from her teachers and other adults. She thinks it would have helped if the doctors reassured her that, “It’s ok to be who you are,” or even told her, “No,” to gender transitioning since she was still just a child.
In light of everything Cole has gone through, she remains optimistic. “I was able to recover. I was able to heal.” In her final words to the audience, she boldly proclaimed, “There is no such thing as being born in the wrong body. Everything you have is a gift to you, and our lives are a gift we can only have once.”