Letters to my Dead Self

DEAR SKEPTICAL WANDERER

Skeptical wanderer,

WOULD YOU believe that God created all things to work together for a purpose? Would you believe that the Creator of the world sent His Son to die for you so that you may have a relationship with Him forgiven of sins?

I get it. I’ve been there. It seems unreal, but you’re not going to know or understand everything that comes across your plate. And that is okay. Being certain about everything and fighting for security will (to no surprise) lead to more skepticism and wandering. But you know that, right? No amount of knowledge and searching will satisfy that. You’ll feel more lost than you ever did before.

Through that searching, you’ll have to trust and believe there is something more than what you see in front of you. You’ll start to wonder if anything is secure.
 
You can know this for sure: God is constant, never changing, and He is the most secure truth you could ever have. You don’t get to have all the answers, but Proverbs 3:5-6 says, “Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding; In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct your paths.” Hold on to that. It’s freeing to know that He is your constant. Trust in His promises; it is worth it.

Love,
Trusting wonderer

Empty and longing,

How long will you go on like this? Each day you try to fill every instant with momentary pleasure, hoping no one will uncover your secret and your chase of lesser dreams. A dulled sense of guilt and shame seem to lurk at your side. I know you’ve tried a million times to “be better,” but it never stuck. You wonder if it will always be like this, but there is a persistent and unexplainable desire for something more.

Oh, how alone and helpless you have felt.

What if I told you that Someone already knows about your secrets? Every one of them. He knew you would give in, compromise, make mistakes, and hide, but He still desires to have an intimate, loving relationship with you. His name is Jesus, and He wants to give you a new life of victory, love, and direction. And yes, there will be suffering, but the reward is great. In this new life, you will be totally changed. There is only one hitch. You must give up and let go of everything. 
 
You once said you would try harder tomorrow, but will you admit weakness today? If so, you are in great company. True change starts with the confession of weakness and the need for help. After that, only faith in and relationship with Jesus can truly transform your life and give you deep satisfaction.
Love, 
Finally satisfied

Brokenly despaired,

When will you see the cracks that have formed in your heart? That you are so heavily distressed from seeking acceptance? You have been strung along with false objectives. Each time you are distracted by renewed hope that being accepted will make you whole again. Things that promised to put you back together only cut you deeper.
 
While you can’t fix it, God can. Psalms 18:30 says, “As for God, His way is perfect; The word of the LORD is proven; He is a shield to all who trust in Him.” God’s intentions are pure and right, not destructive. He sacrificed for you when He bore all of your brokenness, died, and emerged in perfection so you could be made whole by Him. Put your hope in Jesus Christ. Depend on His actions and not any of your own.

No longer do you need to waste away striving for acceptance. Trust that the Son of God makes you perfect and not the goals you pursue.
 
You are accepted. Let God’s mercy consume your despair and replace it with joy.

Love,
Mercifully repaired