One Girl’s True Story

THE UNFAILING LOVE OF GOD: MENDED BROKENNESS

This testimony is from KC,  a member of Street Level Ministries in Cebu City, Philippines

At a very young age, I was taught the act of prayer. I remember my grandma wrote a prayer for me to memorize as my daily request. Then I was introduced to church services and community involvement. Through that, faith came into my consciousness and became the first step as I began to acknowledge God in my life. In short, He pursued me even before I knew Him. Yet along my walk, I encountered a very serious challenge that tested every bit of faith I had.

My mom did something terribly hurtful that broke my dad’s heart. Seeing him hurt like that made me resent her and distance myself. It wore me down and made me question the existence of God. I could have clung to Him, but instead I came to the point where I started doubting, distrusting, and falling under the burden of thinking I would never forgive or love again. My worship turned into grief, prayers turned into grumbling, and love turned into hate. As days went by, I continued living full of hatred towards my mother, and I was ashamed of what people might say if they found out.

I could not pray, and I put all the blame on Him for allowing it to happen. The only question I could utter was, “If He is a good God, then why did He allow such a bad thing to happen?” It affected how I treated people, dealt with problems, and how I viewed life. I even tried to reconcile because I wanted to heal our relationship, but I failed. I failed to understand, failed to talk it over, and failed to forgive. All that because I failed to ask Him for help.

But the story did not end there. During a Bible study with the Street Level Ministries group I attended through my university, we talked about forgiveness. I had heard of that word multiple times, but this time it felt so different. It was as if I was hearing it for the first time. Days passed and I was still bothered by the sensation of the word. It had been almost three years of keeping my hatred and doubts a secret until I finally decided to open up to someone. I was uncertain what would happen, but after the tearful talk, I felt surprisingly relieved, like thorns were pulled out of my body. After that heartfelt moment, I fell down on my knees and cried out in prayer over every bit of the pain I had, and it turned into total forgiveness.

“I was uncertain what would happen, but after the tearful talk, I felt surprisingly relieved, like thorns were pulled out of my body.”

Since then, the words of God have opened my heart again. Listening to His voice through prayer, I feel peace of mind and deep adoration towards Him. I’ve realized that I became lost and blind because I let myself be covered with hate and doubt. Now I have a strong belief that the power of someone’s love can cast out someone’s hate. Finally, I could get to love, know, and show Him the greatest thanksgiving I could ever give, which was to finally reconcile with my mother. Through constant prayer and seeking God’s guidance, speaking with my mother has become easier and lighter because I know that she has been forgiven and I have been saved. Today I’m in a season of complete transition as I work out who I used to be, which was buried in isolation and suffering, and into a person who rejoices in the hands of God through anything.

 “I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world” (John 16:33, NIV).

Because of Him,

–KC