Sketches & Stories

An Artist’s Journey of Purpose and Faith in Amsterdam 

“I am the brush and God is the painter.” 

It took me a long time to come to this understanding. I suppose you could say it has taken me a lifetime (and I’m still discovering what it means). I always enjoyed art, but I never thought it would become a major part of my purpose. My undergrad is in graphic design, but it wasn’t until graduate school that I realized fine art was something I should pursue.   

Initially, the motivation behind my art was to make a name for myself. I had deep desires to be successful. To be known. To be seen. I tried everything in my power to find opportunities to display my work, but every door I tried to pry open with my paint-stained fingers refused to budge. Emails without replies. Phone calls unanswered. Messages left on read.  

I had no new leads for a year and a half. Silence. Why, God? 

Amsterdam

Eventually, I was connected to the Youth with a Mission (YWAM) base in Amsterdam. The leader of the creative arts ministry informed me of a bookstore and gallery space in the heart of the city called LookUp. He invited me to volunteer there for a few months and display my art for an exhibition. Finally, an open door! 

Once I arrived in Amsterdam, I lived on the YWAM base and jumped into community life. I shared a room with another volunteer, ate meals in the dining hall, and attended times of prayer and worship. While my focus was to paint and exhibit, it wasn’t all I did. I interacted with customers at LookUp, served refugees in the city, and helped in the kitchen on the base.  

Even though I was actively serving, I was going through deep, dark spiritual warfare inside. Like the story of the dry bones in Ezekiel 37, God assured me that victory would come. If it wasn’t for His promises and the help of the Holy Spirit, I would have given up many times. The darkness I was experiencing propelled me to focus on my vertical relationship with God, as well as my horizontal relationships with others.  

Sketches & Stories 

Before I went to Amsterdam, I knew God would use my gift of art to serve others, but I didn’t know how. It seemed so impractical! During that time of darkness, I started making quick 5-minute sketches for people I met in the city. Along with the art, I shared a message of encouragement from the Bible. Their glistening eyes showed their emotions. A simple sketch opened up a door for them to share their stories and struggles with me. If they wanted to, we would pray together. 

I didn’t do much. It wasn’t like, “Hey, do you know Jesus?” It was more like, “Hey, can I share this sketch with you?” In this sense, God was doing the therapy. He was healing. God wasn’t about the big art pieces on the wall like I thought. Rather, He was about being personal and intimate.  

It gave me confidence and helped me get out of the darkness. I was hearing from God and He was using me to encourage others. I got to know Him better and started to see His heart for people more clearly. He showed me how He would use my gift of artwork in simple, practical ways. That’s why God gifts us–to serve and bring freedom to others. 

God’s Paintbrush 

Along with the sketches I was doing for people, I completed larger paintings of the Fruit of the Holy Spirit. I’d go into the art studio at the base and meditate and worship while I was painting. I prayed in and out of the studio. “God breathe in your life into this artwork. Bring your living presence to the people who see it.” 

At the exhibition at LookUp, individuals came up to me and shared their life stories. They talked about how my paintings were bringing fruit into their lives, like joy or peace. God brought each person what they needed at that time from my art. He continued to clarify that art is not just about me. It’s meant to speak to the people.  

Now, God is challenging me to go further. He has given me His heart for the broken-hearted, and my hope and dream is to use my artwork to share their stories. I don’t know what that will look like, or where I’ll end up. All I know is that my artwork isn’t about making a name for myself anymore. It’s about connecting with people and making His name great. 

As I continue this journey, I see more clearly that I am merely the brush in God’s hand, connecting with people and painting stories of hope and healing.