The Hardest Thing

If I were to tell you about the hardest thing I’ve ever done, I know exactly what I’d say…

It’s not the time I fought a fire with my fists to keep the flames at bay.

It’s not the strenuous weight lifting and conditioning for the sports I loved to play nor is it deciding to end a valued relationship that had somehow gone astray.

It’s not the projects, nor the speeches, nor the time I tried ballet…

It’s the fact I’m still a Christian and I haven’t walked away –

Because despite what people tell you, your wildest dreams don’t all come true – and it’s ironic we get called “soft” when it’s too hard for most to do.

Whoever convinced you that this marathon of a journey would be a walk in the park isn’t really running the race. Ask Paul – he’d tell you hardships will abound… but if we are to gain ground for the Gospel then it cannot be achieved by merely running in place. 

Have you ever tried to love your enemy? Have you ever turned the other cheek? Have you ever cried out to the heavens as you wallow in defeat? Have you ever felt like your prayers have been chained to massive millstones as you try to hoist them to the sky? Only to watch them crash like shards of glass when your loved ones don’t survive. Ask Job…just because you dwell in the house of the Lord does not mean heartache will stop banging its fists on your front door. You cannot always forecast inclement weather, but if I learned anything from Noah it’s that people don’t want to hear about rainy days while the sun is still shining. Sometimes life can be cloudy with numerous scattered showers. To be a Christian is to know that God reigns even in the midst of a storm. And what more should I say? “Some faced jeers and flogging and even chains and imprisonment. They were put to death by stoning; they were sawed in two; they were killed by the sword”¹ they appeared to be fools and yet they were commended for their faith. 

A faith that fashions forgiveness for a figurine of a father who figured deflowering his daughter’s innocence fell within a “family man’s” freedoms. 

A faith that fixates on the promises of God when fake friends feed you lies that look like Christ but smell like Judas…will you still keep their best interests at heart?

I know the pain of being stabbed in the back… and the self control it takes when you pull that knife out to not use it as a weapon. I know the heaviness of doubt. The pressure it applies when it lays on your chest is enough to crack the ribs of your faith and make you second guess why you took up this fight in the first place.

If you’ve never been head locked by adversity, it will bear hug the breath from your confidence and takedown your joy while sapping all of your strength. Sometimes getting out of a round without tapping out is a reason to worship. To be a Christian is to always be wrestling…with your conviction…with doctrine…with doubt…with others.

But remember the gold lining. Jacob would tell you… when you wrestle with God all night, your walk becomes different. Remember the reward…and that these present day sufferings are no match for the oncoming joy that is peeking over the horizon. Following Christ is not easy but I’m thankful I have a pillar to lean on when my soul is weary and needs rest – so take time to sharpen your commitment…boost up your endurance…persevere despite the hardships…and love like there are lives that depend on it…because they do. Ask Jesus, some crosses are just worth carrying till the end.

I.T. is a spoken word artist from Tampa, FL who is passionate about encouraging others and giving God glory through his artwork.