Letter to a Lonely Heart
WHAT I LEARN FROM GETTING ALONE
Dear lonely person,
As if humans didn’t have enough of a problem with loneliness, the social distancing of the COVID-19 pandemic succeeded at bringing already present lonely feelings to the surface. I think to experience loneliness is to be human in the rawest sense. To feel lonely is to feel unwanted, overlooked, abandoned, and unloved. It’s feeling like an outcast, with no one to turn to. None of us are strangers to it, and yet it’s not easy to talk about. Each person’s experience of loneliness is unique, and while there’s definitely no quick fix, I want to encourage you with three things that help me find peace in my loneliness.
1. I get alone with God
When I feel forgotten and left behind, I have to get alone and tell God how I’m feeling. I go alone to be with Him, just like Jesus did in Mark 1:35. I ask for understanding about my situation, probably while wiping away tears. Since I know He’s done it before, I ask God to teach me something in my loneliness. I pray that my situation, no matter how painful, would bring me even closer to Him because I trust that He can use my struggles for good. Anyone who’s been in a close friendship with another person knows that humans are eventually going to fail us. So, I praise God for being faithful when I, or others around me, have not been (2 Timothy 2:13). I remember that to rely on my friends, family, and relationships to fully satisfy me is to set myself up for disappointment. I ask God to remind me that Jesus alone is my answer, my peace, and my hope.
2. I listen
God’s promises are my assurance, a solid guarantee. I read and re-read the promises written in God’s Word and hold on desperately to them. I listen to what God has told me before and is telling me again: “I’m never going to leave you” (Hebrews 13:5), “don’t fear, I’m with you, I will strengthen and help you” (Isaiah 41:10), “I will teach you which way to go” (Psalm 32:8), “come to Me when you’re weary and I will give you rest” (Matthew 11:28), “you’re going to have trouble in this world, but I’ve overcome it” (John 16:33), and these don’t even scratch the surface.
None of us are strangers to it, and yet it’s not easy to talk about.
3. I don’t stay alone
I lean in close to the community God’s given to me. God’s church is so much more than a building. It’s a group of people committed to following Jesus and serving Him with their lives. When I’m losing heart and wanting to isolate, I fight the urge to stay home and wallow. I show up anyway and ask for help and encouragement from my friends who have said, “no matter what, I’m not going anywhere.” I tell them what’s really going on. Through thick and thin, we’re family.
Loneliness can teach us valuable lessons like dependence on and satisfaction in a God who never fails. Humans, even good-intentioned ones, will eventually let you down. But God? He never will. Through Jesus, He’s offered us eternal life. Loneliness can, if we have the right perspective, give us reason to hope because it reminds us that a sinful world is not what we were created for, and it’s not going to last forever for those who know Jesus as a friend. Steve DeWitt published and article called, “Loneliness Has Been My Faithful Friend,” and wrote in it, “Every loneliness on earth is an internal confirmation that our greatest relational joys lie ahead of us.”1
With care,
A sometimes lonely Christian