Nick the Hick

ANOTHER RANT FROM YOUR FAVORITE REDNECK

BEHIND EVERY GOOD MASK IS A MAN

Masks are here like it ‘er not. Personally I’m in the mostly not category. I don’t find them stylish, cute, and I don’t find myself desiring my neighbor’s mask. But there have been a few positives. Like how us men, in the plus size category, discriminated against for years, have found value in finally being able to successfully model a Hanes product. It’s a win for diversity and such. Positivity also shows up for those who spit a lot when they talk. I’ve had friends admit it’s nice to stand 6ft away from me for a different reason for a change. Some challenges are obvious, glasses fogging up, face sweats, inability to mouth words to certain people. Some challenges may be more people specific. Like, “freshening” up that yapper cover with some “essential oils” (obviously not supplied by yourself but your significant other) which works for a little while ‘til your eyes start burning. Along with realizing you are a nose picker when you embarrassingly poking that mask right up the nostrils. Then there’s the times you forget what you’re even doing with the masks on and you lift ‘er right up when you pass someone and start talking. Depending how long this situation lasts I’ve thought about going full tactical helmet, space helmet, or my favorite yet, making a hat out of a muscle car air filter. Just run a few tubes down where the mouth and nose pieces should meet and it works like a snorkel. But in all seriousness, hang in there crew, it’s for the better, we’ll get through this.