Social Distancing is Nothing New

GOD’S SOLUTION TO THE PANDEMIC OF LONELINESS

“To love means to open ourselves to suffering. Shall we shut our doors to love then and ‘be safe’? That’s the only alternative, really. But locking ourselves up and never facing another person won’t fix what’s really going on in our souls.” ― Elisabeth Elliot

No one would have thought that our communities and countries would ever be physically forced apart. Social distancing guidelines have now disrupted the lives of millions of people. Everything seems to have been put on hold, and we are left with an incredibly empty social calendar. And we feel it, don’t we? Now a simple trip to the grocery store is viewed as a wonderful opportunity to interact with other humans. Suddenly, our physical distance from other people correlates to how isolated we have felt all along.

LIVING IN LONELINESS

This phenomenon is nothing new. Many people have been experiencing social distancing for quite some time. Not necessarily the type of social distancing that requires at least six feet of physical space between ourselves, but the kind that puts up different relational barriers like developing protective mask-like personas to prevent people from knowing who we really are. By masquerading false representations of ourselves, our interactions with others become quick and shallow, existing in a closed-off emotional bubble where nothing meaningful comes in or out. This is all done in hopes that it will somehow solve our loneliness, but only proves to drive us further apart and into deeper despair. We are people in isolation. Limiting our interactions physically just made this isolation more apparent.

Our world is more technologically connected than ever before. We can hold an entire conversation via text in the palm of our hand. We can see what our former high school classmates are cooking for dinner on multiple social media feeds. We are constantly, overwhelmingly inundated with quick, shallow, so-called connections that leave no time for deep conversations that matter.

“The truth is we desire to be genuinely understood and loved but cringe at the thought of exposing who we truly are. God did not design us to live in such isolation. He offers us an entirely different way of living.”

The fear of being “disconnected” ironically causes us to neglect investing in the real-life relationships we do have. When was the last time you met someone for dinner or coffee and didn’t look at your phone once? We desperately want to feel connected to people without making the investment and risk of actually doing so. We at least want to appear connected. This causes us to run from event to event, posting about our supposed grand adventures for people who don’t care to see, thus perpetuating the empty relationship and loneliness cycle. Now, more than ever, we understand that these online “communities” are no substitute for real, live, in-person interactions. But we still try to distract ourselves with them and with a multitude of other short-lived entertainment options. The truth is that we desire to be genuinely understood and loved but cringe at the thought of exposing who we truly are. God did not design us to live in such isolation. He offers us an entirely different way of living.

CREATED FOR CAMARADERIE

Imagine a group of people who are committed to each other through the good and the bad. They share what they have so that no one in the group lacks anything. They take time to discuss important issues and truly care about each other. They have each other over for dinner where they laugh together over joyous moments and cry together over shared struggles. This group doesn’t get along so well because they’re all so similar. In fact, they are as diverse as you can imagine. But it is what they have in common that makes the difference.

This is what we all search for. We seek out the ideal ragtag group of friends who will provide this kind of community. These types of groups dominate our most beloved television shows: The Office, Friends, Cheers, Parks and Rec, the list goes on. Yet, when it comes to our own lives, there is still a part of us that fights against the thought of sharing everything and being a part of such a committed group of people. Though we desire this, we also feel the need to self-preserve and put up barriers which make true friendship with others impossible. However, God created us to experience deep connections with others and to live as part of a perfect community.

COMFORT IN CHAOS

So what are we to do? Is there any hope of relationships that don’t leave us lonely? Yes. We just need to know where to look. Throughout the Bible, God communicates that He desires to be in relationship with us, with you, individually. This is one of the reasons we were created. He wants us to turn to Him and get to know Him. Our relationship with Him should be as intimate as a dad and his child as the Bible describes in 1 John 3:1, “See how very much our Father loves us, for he calls us his children” (NLT).

Jesus came from perfection in heaven and entered into our sick, dying, messy world. And He did so to live a life that perfectly served and loved those around Him. He died on our behalf so that we could belong to God’s family and never be alone again.   How? He was resurrected from the dead and was made alive forever and ever. Believing in Him, and the eternal life He promises, means this life is temporary because real life with Him begins now and lasts forever.

 “For you are all children of God through faith in Christ

Jesus“ (Galatians 3:26, NLT). God is the only One who can fully satisfy our desire to be fully known and loved, and He promises He will never leave us. This is the deepest and most meaningful relationship we can ever experience. It is out of this relationship that all other relationships can start to make sense.

RADICAL RELATIONSHIPS

The good news of this kind of life-giving relationship doesn’t end there. After Jesus defeated death, He established His Church. As His representatives on earth, the Church  is to show others how to have a relationship with God as well. These believers do this by allowing God to change every aspect of their lives, especially how they interact with other people. They are to be people marked by love for God, for each other, for their neighbors, and for their enemies. This group of people is to love each other in such a radical way that the whole world will know they are followers of Jesus. This mission is summed up in the Book of John, “So now I am giving you a new commandment: Love each other. Just as I have loved you, you should love each other. Your love for one another will prove to the world that you are my disciples” (John 13:34-35, NLT).

“A community is only as strong as what it is based upon. The Christian community is meant to be of the highest caliber because of Who it is based upon.”

Learning to love people in this way does not come quickly or easily. Naturally, we enter into relationships to gain something for ourselves. We feel that if we don’t look out for our well-being we will not have our needs met. That makes our relationships depend on our feelings and leads to friendships that are unstable, insecure, temporary, and shallow, which is the perfect recipe for loneliness.

God, however, calls us to be part of a local group of believers who seek the good of others, regardless of personal feelings and gain. When all members do that for each other, we don’t have to fear our needs not being met. We’ll have a whole church body looking out for our good instead of just fending for themselves.

This means we are free to lay aside the masks we wear to keep ourselves from being fully known. The Christian community is a place where we are all keenly aware of the fact that we are all screw-ups, so we don’t need to hide our failures from each other and pretend like we are perfect. We are free to commit and invest in a select group of people that we will share our lives with. God wants His followers to do things for each other that require that we invest time and effort into relationships. This is done in all the day-to-day mess of real life, not just the quick, shallow, perfect-looking stuff we can easily post online. We don’t have to live in fear that coming into close contact with these people will leave us plagued by more loneliness. These people aren’t perfect, so they will disappoint from time to time, but being committed to each other means that when you disappoint them they won’t give up on you either.

A community is only as strong as what it is based upon. The Christian community is meant to be of the highest caliber because of Who it is based upon. A group of people securely loved and satisfied in God has the freedom to love each other regardless of surrounding circumstances and fickle feelings.

The world will tell you that practicing social distancing will save your life. The people of God, His Church, invite you to step in close and experience real, life-giving relationships. Don’t wait until this pandemic is all over to find a community. If you’re honest with yourself, you probably need it now more than ever. If you already belong to a church, see what they have going on for their members at this time and seek to connect with people in any (safe) way you can. If you don’t have a church yet, look into some around your community, or around your university’s community since you’ll be going back there eventually. Maybe you’ve got a friend who has been pestering you about coming to church with them. Now you know they’ve been pestering you because the church is where the craving for real, lasting relationships can be satisfied. Ask them how they are connecting with their church family at this time.

*Note: This is not a call to ignore current health and safety measures being enforced by the government for the fight against the recent pandemic. This is a call to seek God and invest in His people.